The Talk

It was bound to happen sooner or later, but I was definitely hoping for later.

Saturday morning I had to have 'the talk' with Mini-Me.

Five just seems too young, but he said some things that told me it was time.

I was in the kitchen baking my umpteenth sheet of Christmas cookies while the kids and Rach were playing in the living room. In the background, I had the newly released McDonald's Cardinals World Series Championship DVD playing. It was a perfect morning full of the smell of cookies baking, the memories of championship baseball, and the sounds of children playing together without whining.

That's when it happened...a highlight of Albert Pujols hitting a home run caught Mini-Me's attention.

Yes, that Albert Pujols. The Albert Pujols Mini-Me calls Uncle Albert thanks to the fantasies of his aunt. The Albert Pujols whose first pitch, first at-bat home run during Mini-Me's first baseball game at Busch Stadium ignited fireworks above the stadium AND in Mini-Me's heart. The Albert Pujols whose first eleven seasons were beyond amazing. The Albert Pujols who is now a Los Angeles Angel of Anaheim.

"Wubster! Get up! Clap! Albert just hit a home run! Albert Pujols just hit a home run, Wubster! C'mon! We have to go cheer!"

The boys jumped up and scampered in front of the television, clapping and smiling. Tears welled up in my eyes.

"Wubster, Albert hit a home run! We have to cheer for him. Look at the fireworks, Wubster! Albert hit a home run and we cheer for him, but he's not our team anymore. He's on another team now, but we can still cheer for him. Right, daddy? Wubster, we can still cheer, but the Cardinals won't have as many home runs and fireworks anymore."

My tongue stumbled over the words my brain had not yet formed. I didn't think I'd have to talk to Mini-Me about this so soon. He must have heard kids talking at school!

"Daddy, why did Albert leave?"
Oh, uh, well...maybe you should ask your mother that question.
Oh, no you don't. This is a father-son talk. This isn't my job. Mini-Me, your dad will tell you.
Well, you see, Mini-Me, when a man and a woman really, really love each other...
Doug!
Er, well then, you know how you like playing with your Lego blocks?
"Yeah..."
You like your Legos, but if someone else had a lot more Legos, including some you didn't have...
"Like the AT-AT and the Turbo Tank and the Attack Shuttle and the..."
Yeah, yeah...like those...and they wanted to give them to you, would you keep your Legos or play with theirs?
"I'd play with the AT-AT!"
Well that's what happened...Albert's going to play with their AT-AT for the next 10 years.
"Why does the man and woman really, really love each other?"
Um...want a cookie?

Okay, so it wasn't my best explanation, but the cookie worked. Hopefully it'll work just as well in a few years.

P.S. Dear NaBloPoMo...sorry I failed you.

Dear Poltergeist Toys,

I've checked historical records and the house wasn't built on a Native American toy burial ground. I've checked your switches and they're off. I called Egon Spangler and he couldn't find any ectoplasm.

I'm not sure how or why you've been tormenting us with your random electronic squeals, but I will say we know you're here and we don't want to play.

Don't make me call Sam and Dean Winchester.

My Welcome Home

After watching the videos I recorded for them, the kiddos decided to make some of their own. Here's a sampling of what awaited my return...

Dear Mini-Me, Wubster, and Mickey,

I miss you guys. Even when I called and heard the screech-filled chaos reverberating throughout the background, I missed you guys.

I miss the random one-liners, the imaginative adventures, the joyful exuberance. I even miss the dinnertime drama, the sibling taunting, and the glass shattering shrieks...a little.

Mickey, I miss your snuggles.
Wubster, I miss your smile.
Mini-Me, I miss watching you paint.

Today I had the chance to chat with Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Tom Lichtenheld, authors/illustrators of several of the books we've enjoyed reading at bedtime. I thanked them for their contributions to our family, but mostly I talked about how much I enjoyed reading with you guys. Mini-Me, I told them you've started reading on your own and how proud of you I am. Wubster, I told them how you can spell your name and several colors. Mickey, I told them it won't be long and you'll be reading, too. I thanked them again and walked away excited to have met them and excited to read some new books with you three.

But mostly I walked away and thought about how I was going to miss reading with you tonight.

I certainly hope you've enjoyed the story-time videos I recorded before I left, but I hope you're as excited as I am to snuggle up together with a few books when I get home on Sunday.

Dearest Inspiration,

Some days you escape me. 

Today it seems you've sneaked out the window with your pal, Motivation.

Seated on the couch in the dark, I'll be waiting up for your return.

I won't yell or scream, send you to your room or ground you for weeks.

I'll embrace you and ask you never to leave again.

I'll put you right to work, but all the while, you'll be looking for another way out.

The Sirens' Song

Dear Scissors, Gum, and Permanent Markers,

Please stop...

Just stop being so tantalizing to Mini-Me.

The "fireworks" are finally fading from our kitchen table and Mini-Me's hair survived what could have been an ugly battle fairly unscathed tonight.

I'm watching you three...don't give him any more crazy ideas.

We've Reached an Impasse

Dear Stubbornness,

We're not getting anywhere anytime soon.