The Godpreschooler

For a few days there, I was  worried about Mini-Me's interactions with several of his classmates. The kid who was his best friend before Christmas was now apparently laughing at him every day. Mini-Me told me his side of the story on our drives home and I did my best to convince him to be more assertive in standing up for himself or to just avoid this kid totally. Then I got a call that he woke up sick from a nap and, when I got there to pick him up, I realized I didn't need to be quite so concerned...

The Godpreschooler

[Mini-Me's father, Doug Corleone enters, worriedly scans the room for his son, and spots him resting on a cot away from the other children, coughing. Mini-Me makes eye contact with his father and walks towards the door, but a group of children surround him.]

Tyler Bartuzzi: Mini-Me, can I be Bat Hound?

Mini-Me [Rubbing his cheek, contemplatively with his knuckles]: Yeah. That works for you.

Tristan Napolitioni: Mini-Me, can I be Nightwing?

Mini-Me [Still rubbing his cheek]: Ehh...if that's what you think is best, then sure.

Alex Rizzi: You have to leave before gym time because you're sick, Mini-Me? Can I be Batman, then?

Mini-Me: Batman?!? Batman!!! You've gotta answer for the sins you committed in the name of Green Lantern yesterday. You fingered Hal Jordan for the Manhunters.

Alex Rizzi: Mini-Me, you got it all wrong.

Mini-Me: Ah, that little farce you played with the Injustice League. You think that would fool a Corleone?

Alex Rizzi: Mini-Me, I'm innocent. I swear on the Goldfishes...they're so delicious.

Mini-Me: Sit down.

Alex Rizzi: Please don't do this to me, Mini-Me. Please don't.

Mini-Me: Red Tornado is napping. So is Green Arrow. Hawkman. Robin. Martian Manhunter. Today I settled all family business so don't tell me that you're innocent. Admit what you did.

[Alex starts sobbing]

Mini-Me: Get him a drink. Don't be afraid, Alex. Come on, you think I'd make my Justice League uneven? I'm Godpreschooler to your favorite action figures.

[Alex gets handed a paper cup filled with neon orange drink]

Mini-Me: Go ahead. Drink. Drink. No, you're out of the respectable superhero business, that's your punishment. You're finished. I'm putting you in a different game. Tommy?

[Tommy hands Mini-Me a purple costume]

Mini-Me: I want you to wear this, you understand?

[Alex nods]

Mini-Me: Only don't tell me that you're innocent. Because it insults my intelligence and it makes me very angry. Now, who approached you first? Cobblepot or Nigma?

Alex Rizzi: It was Nigma.

Mini-Me: Good. There's a bathroom there where you can change. I'll call your mom and tell her what you've become. 

Alex Rizzi: Listen, Mini...

Mini-Me: Go on. Get out of my sight! You're a Wonder Twin now...