Dearest Washer/Dryer Set,
All these years you've been blamed for stealing socks and you sat idly by in the dark recesses of the house, absorbing the abuse, never complaining, even though you knew you were innocent.
I'm sorry for slinging accusations.
Tonight I found two more socks in the back yard. I know you didn't put them there.
The evidence made this an open & don't touch case, what with the missing socks discovered compressed and encased in poop.
That couldn't have been you...only a Golden Retriever (or two) could be so diabolical.
If there's anything I can do to make up for this misunderstanding, please let me know.
I have some unmatched socks I'd be willing to feed you.
Much appreciation,
Doug
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