Dear Shin Guard,
Look, I know Mini-Me hasn't taken good care of you lately, leaving you strewn about in the kitchen or abandoned in the back of the van. I know you want to be tucked warmly, safely, securely into his cubby. I know because we're more alike than you realize.
Umm...no, I don't have to spend hours inside Mini-Me's sweaty socks. What's that? Oh, no, I don't suffer the abuse of five-year-old soccer players' wayward kicks. Yeah, no...you're right. We're nothing alike...'cause I know where I am. Yeah, that's right. How's that feel!?!
No...I don't feel good about that. I'm sorry. It's just that searching for you right before each game is driving me so crazy I think I can actually have conversations with you.
I know you're around the house somewhere. Probably in an incredibly obvious spot that I've looked at three-hundred times in all my searches. I know Mini-Me needs to learn to take responsibility for his belongings and he should be the one looking for you, but he has a tendency to put on his super-tunnel-vision-goggles anytime I ask him to help search...they only allow him to see (and get distracted by) what's not helpful.
I won't give up hope, shin guard. Your twin is safe in the cubby already. I know you're out there. I will find you. I will win.
I WIN!!!!
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